February 2009

The last 2 weeks have been such a blur! I swear !!!  

I’ve been in my doctors visits getting my clearance, doing my high protein diet (Which was hard for me, to be honest!!).. spending time with my husband. Attending talk therapy for my depression, starting school!!, preparing for tomorrow.. making sure I have all my finances in order..

The total cost for me in this procedure is going to be 3000.00 (2000.00 insurance out of pocket max and a 1000.00 fee that my surgeon is charging – I don’t agree with this really, since I did most all of my own legwork and still had to beg them to do their job at times.. but it’s done so yea)

I’m nervous! For the first time, I am starting to be scared about the after. I know I will be miserable the first few days. I have plenty of liquids to keep me sane until I can have some food. And my husband has mastered my protein shakes! (which I will be able to have)

Other than that, not a lot going on. Seems like the hardest part was really just getting all the paperwork together thus far.. Now, I start a new life.. of health. I don’t want to say this is my rebirth.. because I really feel this is just me taking my new lease on life and enjoying another home! :) I feel like I am in more control.. and ready to do this. I just hope it goes off without any complications. 

I’ve decided not to share my surgery information with many people that know me.. just those that are closest (at first, I was telling EVERYONE!! but now, I want it to be mine. I want to own this and know that I did this for me and nobody else) So I guess the biggest change for me this year – I am finally putting myself and my well being above all else. Then my husband. Nothing could be better. When you have things like that to help you focus and get through, nothing could do any better for your own well being. 

To those considering the surgery; best of luck. Remember, most of this is just perserverence. I was approved very quickly and was able to get through the hoops. This is only because I did my research! Don’t go into this blind!!! 

I’m in the hospital now, typing on my husbands laptop (he always has us connected! )  

Surgery went well.. in a lot of pain right now, but demoral is helping. 

I will post some pictures soon enough! Like when I am discharged.. lol

So far everything is great – wonderful hospital. Only complaint is that everything here closes early! My husband has been here all day, and hasn’t been able to get to he cafeteria yet – they were closed when we got here.. and closed when we were in my room after everything.. and closed again at 7p.

Other than that, things are good. My wounds look good – everyone says I have no complications. Just A LOT of pain. They did get most of the gas out of me already. I’m on an all liquid diet – which was nice that the hospital has been accomodating with a lot of tasty liquids..

Husband is staying here with me – my original plan was to go home earlier today, and be just outpatient. But with the pain and me not being able to breathe deep (as that encourages more pain) I decided to stay overnight. I couldn’t imagine doing this all at home now. Thankfully I’ll be here just for tonight and tomorrow, I can go back to being at home. 

Husband has also been a great nurse Walking me around the floor, putting my leg compression back on me, holding my IV lines as I use the potty and walk.. making sure my blankets are on and I’m warm.. looking at my wounds to ensure that I don’t look like hell. Brushing my hair.. he truly is a god send. 

That’s all for now. Just wanted to let you guys know I’m out of surgery without complications.

Everything seems to be going well. Only real pain I have is from my port/band incisions.. after reading the message boards, I believe that is very common at this stage. I’ve been on clear liquids since surgery – however, one nurse told me I will be ok with some custardy yogurt.. I tried it – was great. I also tried some applesauce (my surgeon’s rule of thumb is that if you can get it through a straw, I should be ok with it now) .. so with that in mind, I have tried those two things and also LOTS of broth, gatorade, apple juice (high in carbs, I know), water, water, water, orange juice (one time only though), and 2 licks of my husbands vanilla ice cream (didn’t really care for it..).. I also juiced some strawberries mixed in a bananna and 2 handful of grapes – it was good, but VERY filling (it was about 4 oz)   

That’s been about all I’ve eaten the last few days,,,

Gas pain is unbelievable. I swear at times you think you’re just dying. Vicodin helps  (surgeon gave that to me) for the severe ones.. but the only real solution to them is Milk of Magnesia… and walk walk walk.. you gotta get up and move for the gas to work it’s way out. Once I did those things, most of my gas pain is gone.. although I have noticed that I have incredible flatulence at times.. long, winded… incredible. But they are so relieving, I really don’t even care. DH was worried at first, but now he just thinks it’s hilarious that I get so embarrassed.. lol

Yesterday, I vacuumed my living room and dining room.. walked on treadmill for 15 minutes total, I have stairs in my home – went up and down them too many times to count, did wii fit body test, folded laundry.. and slept.

Proud to say that I showered.. (I had DH wash my hair a few times, but was told to hold off on a full shower to help healing) … I have NEVER loved my shower more. My hair feels silky smooth and my skin finally feels clean and refreshed I am sure I smell a lot better too! lol 

DH has been so great through this, helping me in and out of bed, dealing with me whining all the time for him (I feel like I just want him near me a lot, makes me feel good) and of course, making sure I get all my meds on time every day. He’s been just wonderful. Far from the guy who was so against me having wls a few years ago. He’s become my rock. 

I tried spaghetti sauce today. It was marvelous!!!!! Just the thin type, no chunks for me. I enjoyed it (my favorite food ever is spaghetti) 

Other than that, not a lot going on with the surgery. I am healing great, no bleeding or oozing.. no complications. Just still in pain. I’m sure the pain is from the incisions though, it will be better soon enough. 

Thanks to everyone who has been a support to me through this. Can’t believe I’m here after considering this since 2004!!!!

Woke up this morning, feeling great. Still sore at my port and my band site incisions. 

Officially down 10 lbs from the day of surgery (I was 251 when I came home from surgery). And 25 lbs from my highest weight of 266. I am very happy with this so far. I do feel restriction at this point, maybe it’s just the swelling. Several people say that the band itself is enough.. maybe I will get lucky!

Today, I am going to walk to the clubhouse and try to walk on the treadmill at the lowest setting with no incline for a bit longer. 

If I didn’t mention it earlier – spaghetti sauce is the greatest (but not a lot of it!!!) 

One last thing, today when I looked in the mirror – I was happy. For the first time in my adult life, my breasts are sticking out more than my belly without sucking it in! lol.. belly fat looks like it’s melting away for me now… I’m just tickled! Talk about a wow moment. Let’s all hope that it stays this way for me.

Today, I woke to find that I am no longer morbidly obese! I could’t believe it at first, I had to double check. I feel so much better so far, it’s only been 6 days and I am happy thus far.  

What a great deal 239 is to me. I just wanted to share.

Well, I’ve been losing and working my way towards a healthier me.. and it’s going well. 

Today, I had some canned tuna (chewed it a lot!!) with mayo on it.. and a cup of jello pudding (bad me.) and some yogurt.. it wasn’t awful, but I just had to get that out.

Spaghetti sauce was probably giving me all that gas pain. So I’m holding off on that for a bit. 

Joined a gym this morning, I’m kind of excited  Start with my cardio, still no lifting weights for another week or so, but cardio helps with burning fat and that’s what I need.

I can tell my figure is getting back as I’ve had some NSV recently – first, when I look in the mirror my face is smaller, my waist is actually starting to show through and my wedding ring is starting to get really loose. Also, my calves do not look nearly as bloated as they used to (I used to look like a whale! IMO) So, a lot of things are settling down and I’m feeling good.

Felt almost normal yesterday, which continued into today. 

I’ll update more later.

I am not getting enough fluids – I know this, and starting immediately, I am changing it.  

I had this surgery to help me save my life. To help get me back on track, and here I am ruining it and myself. 

Today, I overate 2 times – eating is awful, since I’m on a Liquid diet until WEDNESDAY! :/ I have got to get this under control. The swelling went down and now I’m going crazy. Guess this is Bandster Hell? I hope not. For I do not get a fill for another month!!!!

Tomorrow morning (Since I’ve already gorged myself today) I am getting back to where I need to be. I cannot allow myself to be like this.

I’ve lost 17 lbs so far since my surgery date. But that is only because I’ve been doing my best to behave! I need to keep myself motivated that I will conquer my weight this time. The band will help me and I will succeed. 

DH admitted today that he’s been awful about asking me about food all the time… I gave in.. this tme. No more. I will not allow this to happen to me again. I’ve already come too far.

I’m going to go get a bath, relax and try to work this bloated feeling out – then after my time passed (around 10-10:30p) I am going to try to get in some more liquids before sleeping. At least that will give me a healthy start for tomorrow.. flush my body out a bit.

3 more lbs and I’ve been smaller than I have in years. I can do this.

On another note – I am losing my breasts already!!!!! I noticed it today, as I looked in the mirror. Never before have I lost the weight in them, I’ve wanted them to go down a bit for some time – let’s just hope they don’t go down too much. I’m a DD right now, but would like to be in the C area? I just want to be able to fit in normal bras! It’s hard to find DD at Victoria’s Secret sometimes – never the pretty lacy ones either – always the full coverage ones, like the IPEX, which I have a couple of.. but jeez. Those little ones are so cute!!! :D

Today, I tried on a Large top.. and IT FIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I’m sure not all Large tops will fit me, but I was thrilled that this one did. I’m wearing it now and will post a pic this evening.

Can’t even believe it! I am so happy. 

NSV can be just as great as a SV

Weight keeps bouncing around, but inches are still coming off.. 

I hope the scale keeps moving, I usually get around 230 and then all the weight loss stops.. 

This is what scared me so much about the band, that it wouldn’tw ork for me..but I”ve talked to so many people here who say they felt the same way, and the band DID work for them.. Here’s to hoping it will for me too..